The skit may be humorous, but it points to a real phenomenon: first impressions are quick, powerful, and hard to live down. That first glance at a new person often tells us whether we wish to approach for a better look. As a communal species, we have evolved to extract meaning from each other’s non-verbal cues, such as facial expressions, long before we learned to convey verbal ones on purpose by developing speech. The upside, of course, is being able to transmit important information under the circumstances when talking is not an option. We have all shared moments across a crowded room - that’s your non-verbal cues at work! With downsides, it gets interesting. The most obvious one is lampooned in the skit: it is difficult to reliably separate genuinely awful people from the ones who “just look like that”. Meaning that every once in awhile, a perfectly lovely human being receives the treatment rightly due to an a-hole. If you are such a person, it is only a matter of time before the unpleasant incidents gradually damage your faith in humanity and personal optimism. Now, for the less well known second downside. We know from neurological research that facial muscles communicate with emotional centers of the brain. It makes sense, right? Your face needs access to your feelings in order to correctly express them. But did you know that this connection runs both ways? I kid you not! All those “Act As If” and “Fake It ’Til You Make It” motivational posters were right after all! Feedback from the facial muscles involved in emotional expression can, nay - will! alter your mood overtime. If you look like a grump - you will eventually feel like a grump. Fortunately, the brain’s susceptibility to feedback from the body can be turned to good use. My patients who came to learn how to manage their mood disorders, overwhelmingly concur: - signing up for a funny videos mailing list; - running your kids’ cute baby pics for your screen-saver; - trading dirty jokes with your mate by text message on your lunch break It really does not matter. Anything you can do to cause your face to stretch into a grin, even if you have to do it by sheer muscular effort in front of the mirror at first, will raise your spirits. Yes, it will. Yes, it will! You just have to do it long enough. Got it? Good! Now, let us bring it all back to the impression thing. Once you are genuinely feeling better, your face will look less forbidding than it did before. The change in how people approach you as a result of this improvement will serve as a reinforcer to encourage you to keep on smiling. If you are one of the unfortunates portrayed in the skit, however, you still have work to do. I will use a snippet of dialog with a former patient to illustrate: Dr.F: So, what is better this week? Patient: I had no scrapes with the foreman this week! Dr.F: Wow, how do you figure you made that happen? Patient: Aw, you know: spent 20 minutes grinning into a mirror like an idiot every d@%n morning! Dr.F: Still feel like an idiot, huh? Patient: Well, at least I don’t feel like a surly idiot anymore :-) I hope I sold you on the idea of taking an active role in your mood regulation. Happy Monday, my positive friends! If you wish to enroll as my patient (CA residents only), or hire me as your life coach (worldwide), use my Contact Form to request your free phone consultation
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